A letter I wrote back on May 10th. Sorry, Bono – a belated birthday message to you.
Happy Birthday! I know you don’t remember my birthday or know who I am. We’ve met a handful of times but our conversations never get finished. You’re a busy man, I know. All that rock n’rolling and orchestrating world peace. I’m quite busy these days too.
You’ll be pleased to know that I gave up waiting for you to marry me and I went ahead and married someone else about 7 years ago now. In hindsight, being a rock n’roll wife would have just not worked out for me. All that staying up late (I’m a morning person), all those parties (I prefer a cup of tea & being curled up on the couch), and all those tours (air travel doesn’t agree with my sinuses).
Turns out that I need a dependable man who is interested in who I am. Lucky for me that I found him. In fact, he likes me just as much as I like him. He may not have an incredible singing voice, but he says the loveliest things to me. And he makes me laugh every single day. He has stuck with me through sickness and health, and loved me in all my shapes and sizes. He’s put up with my crankiness, irrationality, and ‘artistic moodiness’ for years on end. He cares about my heart and he wants me to be happy. He’s pretty handy in the kitchen too.
Thanks for chatting to me over the years about the merits of honey lip gloss, the weather and other topics of interest. I had so much I wanted to say to impress you with my wit and intelligence, but my nervousness caused me to babble incoherently. I’m still a little bit miffed that you were inches away from grabbing my hand to pull me on stage to dance with you in both Dublin (1989) and Melbourne (1997) but I’m sure it was really difficult to see me in the dark. That’s okay.
Before you get weirded out and think that I’ve stalked you for 25 years, this is not strictly true. I just like your songs very much. And in the last 7 years I’m sorry to say that I haven’t had much time for you. I even missed your last concert for the birth of my son. Luckily I have my priorities straight.
So happy birthday mate. Hope it’s a good one. You still have an awesome voice for a 51 year old bloke – just don’t let this get to your head.
PS You still have my lip gloss.